I now understand how it is that someone can die from a broken heart because I once was so close to death I could smell it. My heart literally ached and I welcomed the grave at one point in my life. I remember like it was yesterday, standing in the hospitality area of our church and recieveing my sentence of 6yrs to life. It was the day he told me his family was moving 10 hours away. As soon as he said it before I could even form a proper responce a dark cloud began to fall and everything looked dim. It was as if it was the middle of the night in the afternoon. No matter how many lights I turned on or how much I looked at the sun, the world through my forever tearfilled eyes was dark. In our church growing up when someone left the church that meant you had to excommunicate them. So I knew that him leaving would mean our relationship would not just be long distance but it was over.
True to form, always my rock, he held me for the longest time and let me weep on him. The weeks and months that followed were some of the most difficult weeks of my entire life. It was like he had died and I was mourning his death. I layed in bed countless hours every single day just so I could dream of him. Every single time I slept I dreamt of him and that was better than living in reality because I wanted to be wherever he was and at the time he was only in my dreams. My siblings often joke and say I hibernated for a year missing out on eating, socializing, and just plain living. I went into serious depression the day my love walked out of my life but never my heart.
